Exercise and Relationships - Can It Really Get That Bad ?
Wednesday, February 2, 2011 
This morning I grabbed my IPad over tea to catch up with the WSJ. In the Living Section was this article by Kevin Helliker: A Workout Ate My Marriage. As Kevin writes, "Exercise can set off conflict about family, free time; Errands vs. English Channel.
Now being involved in fitness and wellness I wondered, is this as big of a problem as Kevin thinks ? I mean we are always talking about the fact that people don't exercise enough. How often are people exercising too much and if so can it lead to the end of a relationship ? I guess its possible and happens but how often ?
I happen to be married. My wife Maureen works out 6 times a week with a combination of ballet, weight training and cardio. I work out as well (at the same great club stone creek club and spa) and as frequently but we rarely work out together; only when we play tennis, cycle or take a BODYPUMP class. While our regime of training did not evolve until the past decade, its never posed a problem. In fact, we talk about it and enjoy doing the things we do when we do them together. So I was wondering, aren't there more couples and families who are positively impacted by training and keeping fit than negatively impacted ? Aren't these examples extreme cases ? I wondered after reading this part of the article:
The effect of extreme exercise on divorce rates isn't clear. Even if research showed a higher rate of discord in homes where just one spouse is an endurance athlete, exercise could be a consequence, rather than a cause. Among endurance athletes, though, resentment on the part of spouses is a common topic. The phenomenon may develop into what Pete Simon, an Arizona psychologist, triathlon coach and blogger, calls "Divorce by Triathlon." "I often wonder how many lonely wives, husbands, children of triathletes are out there wondering when the insanity is going to end," he wrote.
Now Kevin is a good reporter and Pete is an accomplished coach but couldn't we read more about how exercise is bringing families and couples closer together ?
What do you think ? What is your experience ? Do you know of a situation where working out broke up a marriage ? Do you think couples and families can be closer as a result of being active ? If so, please share your views with me, Bryan O'Rourke. Can working out too often make marriage and family life that bad or make it better ?
Reader Comments (3)
I read the article that you're referring to in this post. In this particular case the guy was working out a little excessively. It did interfere with the amount of time he spent with his family. In your case, you are able to occasionally make your workouts part of family time. It's all about finding balance.
First Step To Losing Weight
Great post! I like and love reading this article! Exercise can be an important tool for managing everything from stress and depression to healing injuries. The relationship between exercise and self esteem can be defined in several ways. As people age, the relationship between exercise and self esteem continues to be important. People who consistently exercise as they get older have stronger, more flexible bodies. In addition, these exercisers are less likely to have serious health problems that non-exercisers.
Being around the early 30s I hear the locker-room chatter of other gals my age, and find that there are divorces and relationships ending after these women start working out. As far as I can surmise most cases are women getting into shape, building self-esteem around it (in part), and realizing it either doesn't help the relationship once their own self-improvement is evident, or that now that they're looking great they have other options.